~Our enduring nature–in the steadfast echoes of eternal infinity, is the motion of stillness~
It has been a year since my last post. A year since climbing a mountain where my daughter and I brought his ashes home and released them to the wind. I have needed that time–percolating the inwardness, percolating the understanding to endure, percolating deep patience and deep forgiveness–of myself. As part of my human condition, I have learned that I can get caught in my constant yearning for stillness; and by that yearning, I have noticed with more prevalence, my lack therein of it. Yearning brings me to a boundless expanse of bouncing back and forth between motion and stall, up and down, in and out, above and below…the boundless expanse of yin and yang–the natural rhythms of life.
And as natural rhythms, yearning leads me to that place which is steadfast with my inner growth and is also wavering with my inner resolve–it brings me to forgive the hurt that had numbed me and opens me up to the next transcendental enigma lying in wait. In that place of yearning is the enduring nature of my human condition.
“whether we realize it or not, throughout time and space, throughout expanse, throughout ancestry and eons, we endure”
As a creature, as a soul consciousness, as a child of God and in God’s image, we endure. And we endure on all levels–physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, genetic, familial–a tenacity of survival that goes beyond our individual nature or collective, that somehow goes even beyond the make-up of our Creator and the origins of faith itself.
Enduring is elemental and archaic. It is a depth of motor intrinsicness of our essence at that root level–part of the vital force of us all. It is instinctive. It is inherent. It is a genetic code of Spirit that enables us to keep moving forward in right action–different than free will but an innate drive to move through. We endure. We carry it along in our family ties generation to generation–just as we do the color of our hair or the shape of our nose. We don’t choose it, it is made for us, but with those factors tied to our line of being–our ancestral line of consciousness; that in between the boundless infinite expanse of the universe is our ancestral enduring.
To endure is to be intermingled within the feminine Gaia of the Divine Mother, and the masculine of God the Holy Father. It is the eternal infinity intertwined inside the union of the Mother and the Father that echoes on and on and on. It brings the determinations of deciding to create an existence in the manner(s) it has been created–seen/unseen, known/unknown, comprehensible/incomprehensible. It is a contemplation of our soul beyond the “simplicity of suffering” and beyond the longing of our God belonging.
“it is a noun that expanses our search for meaning”
To me, it is even beyond our comprehension of how we experience our highest rapport and our highest moments of God-union. It is something that powerful and effectual–something that respectful.
Enduring is–that true commitment to the attention of Spirit in everything and finding the rhythm of God in the movement of it.
Enduring is–the silence and commune in the humming nature of the rhythm of the Earth and the ancient historical earthiness of it.
Enduring is–the truth in action and words; not noticing what tomorrow grows but in times of future worry, pulling it back into those breathful moments of our sowed gardens –which in turn, brings the peace and calm and the loving beauty of all of the great elders and eldresses of our times and of our eons. The blossum of our goodness with the bloom of our love of all that we are–as we are God in spirit remembering and seeking the true nature of ourselves. It is that nature of ourselves that is the present wholeness of our transfiguration of past generations. It is transparent, generous and if we allow, it can support in healing us.
“the core of how we endure is infused within us generation from generation”
That the core of the infused Spirit of our faith and beliefs is the enduring nature of our love. And in that love is the enduring nature of self. Our self of loving-kindness and of loving self-forgiveness. And in the wondrous beauty and true nature of focus, guidance, encouragement, instruction, reflection, belief, faith…enduring is the reminder to pray, to meditate and to Amen…the Holy words, and Holy reminders for living in these times, and inflected in between is the lasting efforts of enduring.
So as I endure, I am aware that I am also percolating my spiritual formation. Percolating the unformed higher awareness from Spirit, accepting with deep patience and waiting for that precious precision that pops up out of nowhere and comes into my cognition. This is where my faith deepens and my yearning lessens. This is where I learn, this is where I forgive more, it is where I passion my patience, and how I continue to carry through the heritage of enduring. So on this third year anniversary, I give rise to the nature of enduring.