survivor of suicide loss

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Self Reflection After Suicide Loss

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~closing a chapter after suicide loss – the spontaneity of reflection~

Healing involves moving with how your inner wisdom wants to come forth to help you develop that trust of peace and calm–trust of your new world, trust in your new life, trust in the new you that is created by being open to listening to the outer and inner guidance that is telling you “it is time”, “this is not optional anymore”, “you can take this step”, “it is ok to rest”, “take care of you”, “you will get through this”. Healing involves listening to that inner glimmer that is rebuilding within that unseen force of that which you are– Continue reading →

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Experiencing PTSD After Suicide Loss

 

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~the flashbacks from suicide loss – the sojourning nature of a waking heart~

Currently, with my wholeness journey, the inner work seems to be focused on what I call the “spot”.  Fifteen months ago, it was a huge infinite abyss with no edges or borders, today it has reduced down to the “spot”.  If I have a think about it, the mind tells me that there are still any number of “opportunities” in there, but it is now more defined and focused, more healed from the strategies of mending.  If I place my hand over it, my heart is allowing some thaw to its protective numbness of feeling. Continue reading →

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The Survivorship of Suicide Loss

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~the survivorship of suicide loss-the authentic rendering of a mind in need~

It seems that at any one time, we are all at some constant fluctuating level of a mind in need. We have needs for understanding, needs for acceptance, needs to be loved, needs for companionship, needs for adjustment of who we are now which is different from who we were a moment ago. Continue reading →

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One Year of Living After Suicide Loss

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~year one of living after suicide loss-the beauty of love is the eternity of forever~

More now than ever I understand that I will carry this loss and tragedy with me forever–in my memories, in my thoughts, in all the life events past and future, with all of the familiar faces and places–in all of the “what will be’s”–I will carry it with me eternally. This is what I have concretely learned in this first year.   Continue reading →