“The spreading of ashes – the final return”
On this day, the mountains, lakes, and streams are my Universe. On this day, the sounds of the wind, rain, and even the clouds are my calling prayers in meditation. On this day, the rays of the sun glistening through the aspen are the warming presence in the lofty shadows that follow. And on this day, the prism of the double rainbow streaming across the distant valley is the omnipresence of Spirit in all things. Continue reading
~Presence, our wholeness as it is — the poetry of living~
When I reflect on my spirituality I think of the lifelong yearning and knowing of spirit moving through me, around me, and within me. I think of the blessings of spiritual traditions and of the benevolence of the beautiful teachers who have bestowed their graciousness towards me when I’ve taken that bold step towards them. I think of all of the miraculous healing in the everyday life surrounding faith. I think of all of the goodness of each and every being–and I do my best to feel it. Continue reading
~the mingled breath of wholeness – the draw of who we are~
Taking that deep breath which moves us to our place of peace and inner stillness, that is the draw of who we are. Breath is the phenomenal brilliance of our origin. It is the radiant sensation of grace that creates the beautiful glow in our existence. It is our generosity, our patience, our tolerance, and our wisdom. Breath is our compassion. It is our loving kindness. It is us. We are our breath, we are our place of peace and inner stillness. We are the draw of who we are. Continue reading
~closing a chapter after suicide loss – the spontaneity of reflection~
Healing involves moving with how your inner wisdom wants to come forth to help you develop that trust of peace and calm–trust of your new world, trust in your new life, trust in the new you that is created by being open to listening to the outer and inner guidance that is telling you “it is time”, “this is not optional anymore”, “you can take this step”, “it is ok to rest”, “take care of you”, “you will get through this”. Healing involves listening to that inner glimmer that is rebuilding within that unseen force of that which you are– Continue reading
~year one of living after suicide loss-the beauty of love is the eternity of forever~
More now than ever I understand that I will carry this loss and tragedy with me forever–in my memories, in my thoughts, in all the life events past and future, with all of the familiar faces and places–in all of the “what will be’s”–I will carry it with me eternally. This is what I have concretely learned in this first year. Continue reading
~the grief of suicide loss-the lifetimes of existence, ever reaching to the hearts of many~
In those first weeks to months after his passing, the word grief became a universal descriptor. As I experienced how tangible his essence was around me–in every part of our home, in every part of my memories, in every part of my questioning–I understood that he was also a part of the existence within the existence of my life. He wasn’t going anywhere and he was absorbed into me immediately. Everything that I was absorbing, everything that I was feeling and everything that I could feel conglomerated into that descripting swirl of grief. Continue reading
~day one of suicide loss-the day dawns with beautiful flowers and every moment comes anew~
Seven months and twenty-one days ago my morning quickly morphed into a whirlwind of shock and chaos, despondency and disbelief….and numbness-just numbness. In a matter of an hour I became a widow, my child lost a father, and we both experienced a loss as a result of suicide. Continue reading
The Muse of Wildflowers 