The Importance of Breath with Suicide Loss


~the mingled breath of wholeness – the draw of who we are~

Taking that deep breath which moves us to our place of peace and inner stillness, that is the draw of who we are.  Breath is the phenomenal brilliance of our origin. It is the radiant sensation of grace that creates the beautiful glow in our existence.  It is our generosity, our patience, our tolerance, and our wisdom. Breath is our compassion. It is our loving kindness.  It is us.  We are our breath, we are our place of peace and inner stillness. We are the draw of who we are.

Breath, as it is affixed to our individual impression, to our energy stamp, to our vibrational nature, is how we are merged to our mindfulness and to our level of mental hardiness. Our resilience lies with the antiquities of our origins.  When jostled to the level of exhausted prostration, we will still breathe. It is the semblance of finding our place of stillness, no matter how remote, by drawing from the rudiment that knows nothing other than to breathe in and to breathe out–and to start there.

~breath is the phenomenal brilliance of our origin~

This is really the wholeness of living. Placing that even though life is an active process in moving forward with our best self, our best self is really where we are at in any given moment.  That we “start with where you are” and with ancient and kindred guidance we move forward with a single breath at any one time–short and shallow or deep and drawn–moving forward as our signatured communal self to the wholeness of our signatured communal nature.  

It is the breath that creates the calm beauty of our characteristic imprint–our sustaining draw that is our identity in all thought and all feeling.  It is part of that stream of life that ties the all of everything into one togetherness.  It is the awareness of our community of shared consciousness and the learned nature to feel the presence of it, to pass into it and to become part of it.  However it is shaped, breath allows us to find the strength to tap into the love of ourselves until, like the ocean, it reveals even the most minute particle of sand that has been churned among millions of others from the tidal waves. Vibrant new particles of shimmering sand unearthed before us as the tides wash the beach anew–allowing us to endure the longevity of our healing in service to our certitude.

  ~it is part of that stream of life that ties the all of everything into one togetherness~

Breath, as love, is the source of our gratitude and the source of our understanding.  It is pivotal to our core of wholeness.  Each breath represents a particular, beautiful, glistening, single, minute piece of sand amongst the multitudes of others–drawn out on its own accord amidst the churning vibration of a consciousness stream–a mutual love embedded in the impression of our soul.

As it is, we are our sacred and we are our divine –once we have a glimpse into the awareness of this,  it is in every moment and every understanding eternally.  As we look to our self-love, we transform our losses so that they can be churned back into the waters at the designated time of renewal as an honored member of the ocean. Our losses put back into the conscious streaming tides that push, churn and mingle the full conscious essence we are all a part. 

~ to endure the longevity of our healing in service to our certitude~

When I need enduring strength, I tend to recall a particular moment where in a fleeting instance, the full impact of my loss overcame me.  My body gave out and started to collapse, but instead of fainting it somehow overcame the swoon of it. A gasp, that quick inward draw of life force created a change in body movement.  It led to a breath in with a breath out, and then another longer breath in with a longer breath out.  It was this moment that set a motion forward in my own survival and is the memory that gives me strength whenever I am coping from the many losses of my partner’s suicide. It was this moment that the most basic aspect of living took over and helped me to survive that day and has carried me forward to my present life–the basics of a mindful inhale in and then a mindful exhale out. 

Today, when I am emotionally drained from the ongoing effects of this loss–I breathe. When I just am unable to physically move because this loss paralyzes me–I breathe. When I mentally cannot focus and am not able to make decisions I focus on solely breathing in and solely breathing out–my concentration moves from the loss to the breath.  I will tell others, “When all you can do is nothing at all, you can just breathe”. The breath will pull me out of it.  That is how important the breath is to me.  That is how impactful the breath is to me.  That is how instrumental breathing is to my moving through this suicide loss.  The basics of a mindful inhale and then a mindful exhale, repeated over and over until a calm comes and removes the starkness of collapse.  That is the breath and that is the draw of who we are. 

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