Engaging Life After Suicide Loss

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~the engagement of suicide loss-comforting its place as the late season blooms~


The police have teams assigned for situations like this. There was the response team for the 911 call, an officer partnered with the local fire chaplain, additional police that seemed to be support persons for the scene, another officer who became the point of contact for the police report, and the medical examiner along with those he brought with him. Continue reading

The Grief of Suicide Loss

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~the grief of suicide loss-the lifetimes of existence, ever reaching to the hearts of many~


In those first weeks to months after his passing, the word grief became a universal descriptor. As I experienced how tangible his essence was around me–in every part of our home, in every part of my memories, in every part of my questioning–I understood that he was also a part of the existence within the existence of my life. He wasn’t going anywhere and he was absorbed into me immediately. Everything that I was absorbing, everything that I was feeling and everything that I could feel conglomerated into that descripting swirl of grief. Continue reading

Day One of Suicide Loss

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~day one of suicide loss-the day dawns with beautiful flowers and every moment comes anew~


Seven months and twenty-one days ago my morning quickly morphed into a whirlwind of shock and chaos, despondency and disbelief….and numbness-just numbness.  In a matter of an hour I became a widow, my child lost a father, and we both experienced a loss as a result of suicide. Continue reading